One Sad Thing About Toy Story 3

I took the girls to watch Toy Story 3 the other day. Sierra is a huge Toy Story fan. She wants to decorate her room like Toy Story. For Christmas last year all she wanted was Buzz Lightyear and Woody. When we went to Disneyland, she didn't want to meet the princesses, she wanted to see Toy Story characters. She learned how to write Andy's name before her own. She's a nut about it.

We stayed through the credits and then I looked over at Sierra and asked her what she thought of the movie. She responded, "There's just one sad thing." Then she got huge tears in her eyes and started to cry the saddest cry. I tried to comfort her asking what was wrong. She said through her tears, "I just want to watch it again!"

The Ultrasound Results Are In and It's A.......

BOY!!!! We are so excited. I don't know if we will know what to do with a boy around our house with all the estrogen here, but we can't wait to learn. Now for a name....hmmmm....that will be tough. We can come up with so many girl names we both like, but our boy names lists are very different. If we leave the naming to Sierra, it would be Fred (from Scooby-Doo), Andy (Toy Story), or Dash (Incredibles). Those are her favorites.

Savannah has had her heart set on a girl, but when the ultrasound technician declared, "It's a boy", Savannah said to dad, "I think I can like a boy."

Being a Mother

I have a friend, who like me, became a mother through adoption. She spoke in church a couple years ago on Mother's Day and I could relate to her words. She said, "I used to cry every Mother's Day because I was not a mother. Now I cry every Mother's Day because I am a mother."
Every mother out there knows the joys and pains that come with motherhood. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I always wanted to be a mother. That is what I wanted to be when I grew up. After Steve and I had been married only 2 months, we learned that I was pregnant. We were very happy about the pregnancy because my doctor had told me I would most likely need to use fertility drugs to conceive. Our son, Dakota was born too early weighing only 1.5 pounds. We were blessed to know him on this earth for 25 hours before he was called back to Heaven.

We tried and tried to conceive again. We used fertility drugs with no success. After about 3 years of this, we decided to adopt. Adoption was something we always talked about and was another way of creating a family. A few months later, Madison was born four years almost to the day of Dakota's birth. We were so thrilled to be parents.

When Madison was 18 months old, we decided to try to adopt again. We did all of our paperwork and waited...and waited....and waited. After 2 years of waiting, I learned that I was pregnant again, but the excitement was short-lived as I miscarried 6 weeks into the pregnancy. I was very heart-broken, but I knew that there were more children waiting to join our family in one way or the other.

When Madison was 5, Sierra and Savannah were born. After 3 + years of waiting for another adoption, our dreams were finally realized again (times 2). Sierra and Savannah were such a joy to us and Madison just loved having two babies to help care for. While we were waiting, we would pray every night for our child's birthmother to find us and place her baby with us. Whenever it was Madison's turn to pray, she would pray for her baby sisters to be born soon. When we took Madison to Disneyland when she was 3, she threw a coin into Snow White's wishing well and wished for 2 baby sisters. For her birthday that year, she got twin dollies to play with. She knew all along that 2 sisters would come to our family.

Then, about 2 years ago, we had the feeling that our family still was not complete, which led us on a journey across the Atlantic to Ghana, where we found Lilly. She has been a blessing to us. She has taught us a lot about survival, determination, and sharing what little you have with others.

This year I have 6 more centimeters (and growing) to be grateful for. We thought after Lilly, we were probably done with building our family, but were surprised to find out early this Spring that we are expecting again. I am 12 weeks into this pregnancy and have had 4 ultra-sounds already. Everything looks great. The baby's heartbeat is strong and he/she is growing at a normal rate. We are so thrilled.....as well as a bit scared. I am seeing a specialist in high-risk pregnancies and he will stitch my cervix closed in a couple of weeks to hopefully prevent an early appearance of this baby. We told the kids and they are excited about having a new baby in the family. Sierra and Madison want a brother; Savannah and Lilly want another Diva like themselves. We won't know for a few more weeks, but can't wait to find out. Steve and I just want a healthy child. I'm not sure if we would know what to do with a boy after 4 girls, but we could learn. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who read my blog!!!

One Year Anniversary

March 17, 2009 was such an amazing day for our family. It is the day I stepped off an airplane with our new daughter, Lilly. I remember going down the escalators to the luggage return and seeing my dear Husband, 3 daughters, grandparents, and a couple others waiting to greet us. Lilly had been so tired after the long trip, but perked right up and was so excited to see Dad again and to meet the others for the first time. There was so much love and excitement. It is hard to believe it has been a year already!


I've been reflecting back on the last year and the time leading up to our adopting Lilly. The months prior to meeting her were filled with excitement and wonder. We were so excited to have found her, we were anxious to meet her, we were in awe at the guidance we received from Heavenly Father that led us together. Of course we were busy out of our minds trying to get all the important necessary documents together. We were nervous to travel (separately) to a country neither of us had ever visited.


Steve's favorite memory of his time in Ghana was staying right at Luckyhill. What a blessing it was to be able to experience firsthand the life our daughter was living. She was happy. She was loved. She was well-cared for. She was being educated. Steve loved to hear the children sing at night after dark when there was nothing else to do because of unreliable electricity. He enjoyed talking to the children at Luckyhill and listening to their dreams and aspirations.


I really enjoyed getting to know Lilly and her family in Ghana. One of the things I love about Ghanaians is their sense of "family". You take care of your "brothers and sisters" even if they are not brothers/sisters in a biological sense. Lilly's birthmother calls me "mother" when we speak on the phone. She always refers to Steve as her "brother".


We are so grateful to the many people who helped us on our adoption journey...from those in the States to those in Ghana.


This year has gone by so fast because we have been so busy. Aside from some of the initial adjustment issues (see this post) http://emettsescapades.blogspot.com/2009/06/adjusting-and-bonding.html the transition has gone better than expected. Lilly is such a social butterfly who loves to make friends and meet new people. She is doing very well in school. First term, she had some difficulties with counting and rhyming. We played rhyming games every time we were in the car and she would get so frustrated at "not getting it." I would say: "See rhymes with tree. What else rhymes with tree?" She would ask, "Leaves?" Sierra would shout out "bee, three, free, me!!!" I would tell Sierra to let Lilly try. We would try and try. She finally got it. She is now reading on level and counts to 100 without hesitation. She is good about doing her homework and likes to color.


She loves all American food now, except for her aversion to melted cheese. She has grown so much. She was wearing size 5 when she got here and is now out-growing her size 6X clothes and is ready to move on to 7/8.


We are thankful that we had the courage to listen to the voice of the Spirit telling us we had a child on the other side of the world and feel very blessed to have her in our home. She is worth the mountains of paperwork and the uncomfortable/nervous feelings we had about doing something new. We hope we are the kind of parents she deserves to have. There is something very special about her and we know the Lord has a work for her to do.


I hope someday she will return to her native country and have the opportunity of meeting once again the people who cared for her for many years. Her memory of the language has faded. I bought a journal when she first arrived so we could write down as many of her memories as she cared to talk about. At first, she didn't want to talk about Ghana. I think she just was trying to fit in with her new American lifestyle. But eventually, she would reminisce. We now have several stories in her journal, stories told from a 5 year old point of view. I don't know how accurate some of them are, but it is what she remembers. We wrote them down in hopes that she will always cherish these memories, as they too will fade with time.


Here she is a year ago today.
















Here she is today. What a beautiful daughter!

Lilly's First Christmas in America

I've had a lot of friends ask me about Lilly's first Christmas with our family. We thought it would be nice to include any tradition she may have had in Ghana for Christmas, but when we asked her what she did on Christmas in Ghana, she said they did nothing. She is starting to forget many things about her life in Ghana, so we weren't sure if she has forgotten or if Christmas was just like any other day for her. To give her something Ghanaian at Christmas time, we made bracelets out of the beads I purchased in Ghana for all of the girls' teachers. They turned out really pretty.














No Christmas in Salt Lake City is complete without a visit to Temple Square to see the Christmas lights. It was cold and crowded, but very enjoyable, especially to a girl who has never seen so much electricity used in one place.




















Our other girls took care of giving her the 411 on Santa. They taught her the words to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and would sing it anytime they thought she was doing something she shouldn't be doing. Lilly quickly picked up on this and it became the "tattle-tale" song of the season.

We took Lilly to sit on Santa's lap and she wasn't afraid or shy at all. She asked for a bubble gum machine. Madison wanted Pixos. Sierra asked for Buzz and Woody and Savannah also wanted a bubble gum machine.

Madison who is 10 and still a believer, asked me one day why Santa didn't take toys to the children at the orphanage. She had a party at school and they had discussed Christmas traditions in various countries. So I told her that they don't celebrate Christmas with Santa in Ghana. But I just couldn't get her question out of my mind. I kept thinking about how deserving of toys the children of Luckyhill are. When Lilly first came here, she didn't really even know how to play with toys. But toys have helped her develop her creativity and imagination so much in this short time. I wish I could send a toy for each child at Luckyhill. At our home, we are blessed enough to have everything we need and can afford to give into the wants we all have from time to time. At Luckyhill, the needs of the children are not always met, so the wants aren't even discussed. It made me feel conflicted about Christmas.

We enjoyed the break from school and were able to do some acts of service and we tried to help the children understand the true reason for Christmas. We always read the Christmas story from the Bible. Our ward Christmas party focused on the spiritual nature of Christmas. We reserve a special place in our living room for nativities. I was glad to have 2 nativities from Ghana to display.

Christmas Eve was exciting for the kids. They got presents left at the door by Rudolf (pajamas and slippers), so they knew it was time to go to bed, Santa was on his way.














It was fun for Steve and I to watch the magic Christmas morning. The kids loved their gifts from Santa and played and got along so well with each other. Lilly got a makeup kit, with mostly lip gloss in it (because she loves being a girl). She was so good about sharing it with Savannah, who is another princess. I wish I had the before picture of Lilly and Savannah smearing lip gloss all over their faces like it was foundation. I only have the after picture of Savannah trying to get it off before anyone notices.






































I think Lilly was a bit overwhelmed on Christmas day. She loved it, but it was a lot to take in. She had a bit of a melt down when she opened a gift from Grandma. She got this really neat glow-in-the dark art set. Madison got Pixos. Lilly decided she also wanted Pixos and began crying (we call it the death wail) and throwing her art set around. I tried to see this from her perspective. She has never had gifts given to her like this and so she hasn't grown up accustom to it. I took her to my room and we talked about how she was feeling. We talked about gratitude and how Grandma may feel right now. I explained that she knows what Pixos are, but she doesn't know how fun her gift is because she has never seen something like it before. She calmed down and we gathered it all together and figured out how to make the light work and of course she loved it. She apologized to Grandma and thanked her for the gift.




















Lilly really has come such a long way in a short amount of time. She has had to improve a secondary language, adapt to a new culture, blend into a new family as a middle child, and learn new rules. Nothing in her life now is like it was in Ghana, except for the occasional chicken and rice for dinner (with an American flare). She is one remarkable, adaptable little girl that we love more and more each day!

What Are The Odds?

We currently own 3 cars. We only have 2 drivers. So, what are the odds that all 3 cars are broken down at the same time? Maybe we should buy lottery tickets, because we beat all odds...and yes, we are a bit odd too. :)

The timing chain is going out on Steve's commuter car. We decided since it already has 175K miles on it, we wouldn't repair it. So we purchased a used car for Steve to use as his commuter. Two weeks after purchasing it, the transmission went out. So we still have his old car with a $1400 repair and his new (used) car with a $1200 repair. (We found a used transmission to replace the other one saving us some money.)

Today when the van wouldn't start and I didn't know how I was going to get the twins to preschool, I told them that I wished we had a horse and buggy. I guess they understood my frustration because Savannah told her friend at school, "Today my mommy doesn't like cars."

Here's hoping that tomorrow I will like cars again!

Merry Christmas!!!

New Family Pictures

We decided it was way past time to get new family pictures taken. So here they are. They look so great hanging on our walls : ) Sierra is on the left in the family picture and the individual ones, which means Savannah is on the right. What photogenic girls we have.

Be Where You Are

A friend taught me what this simple phrase means. It means:

When you are in the car with your children, be with your children not with your to do list rattling in your head.

When you are at church, focus on the message being taught.

When you are on date night with hubby, listen to him and enjoy your time together rather than thinking about the bills that still need paid.

I have thought of this simple phrase many times in my life. Sometimes it is a motto that is easy to live by, other times I am easily distracted from what really matters.

In my days before becoming of a mother, I longed for the day that the pitter-patter of little feet would fill my home. But I really tried to focus on the message, "Be where you are." I enjoyed the years that Steve and I had as a couple to enjoy each other and to really work on our relationship. We had a lot of fun. We made sure to plan something we both enjoyed often to distract us from the woes of infertility and childlessness.

Being a mother is wonderful, but it is also difficult. Some days I wonder if I am totally insane to have all these children and sometimes secretly, I wish for more. Some days I look at the mirror I just cleaned that is now smeared with toothpaste and fingerprints and wonder why I work so hard. Sometimes I fantasize about what life would be like if we didn't have any children. In my fantasies, I'm sure we would be rich (living on two incomes, my dream job, my dream house, etc.). I dream of the places in the world where we would vacation. I think of how much less laundry there would be and how the house would always be clean.

But then, I think about how empty the house would be. How unfulfilled my life would be. I would miss out on:

The joy of helping a child with homework and seeing that they get it now.

Arms wrapped tightly around my neck with a sweet little voice saying, "I love you mom."

Hearing my child own up to something they did wrong without being reminded to say "I'm sorry."

Butterfly kisses on my cheek followed by plenty of giggling.

Cuddling a sick child that just needs mommy and a warm blanket.

Reading bedtime stories, even though it is way past bedtime and this is the 5th story we've read.

What good is a clean house if there are no children to fill it? Today, I am grateful to be where I am....in a bit of a messy house, but with 4 beautiful girls and a wonderful, very patient man by my side.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

Our family was featured in our local newspaper for National Adoption Month. A reporter came to our home and interviewed me and Steve, then the photographer came a few days later to take some pictures of our family. Here's the link, if you're interested in reading the article.

http://www.transcriptbulletin.com/pages/full_story/push?article-A+Labor+of+Love%20&id=4557787-A+Labor+of+Love&instance=home_hometown_left

Birthday Highlights

Five of the six of us have birthdays falling within 1 month and 3 days of each other. We really get tired of cake in October/November. I made 4 cakes and cheated for my own birthday and bought pie.


(I don't have pictures of Madi's soccer jersey cake because we couldn't find the camera. When I did find it, there were lots of crazy pictures of all four girls.....close ups of their noses, tongues, feet, and silly faces....now I know where the camera was! :) I am posting the silly faces to use as blackmail in the future when boys they like show up.
















Here are some fun photos of our birthday celebrations. Lilly's party was on Halloween, so I'm including Halloween pics too.
















Lilly was Raggedy-Ann, Sierra was a knight, Savannah was a bat girl, and Madi was Coraline.

Here's to the Birth Mothers who have Blessed our Lives

There are 3 very special people we honor in our home. These people came into our lives as children came into our family through adoption. Their names are spoken in our home with respect and awe. Their love for their child(ren) is praised and admired.

We met Amanda, Madison's birth mother 10 years ago when Madison was 19 days old. We met her at LDS Family Services in Illinois. We were all nervous to meet. We wondered what she would think of us and whether she would want to change her mind about placing her daughter with us. She had signed placement papers a few days before and was grieving for the child she hadn't seen in 5 days. We had a very nice meeting with Amanda and her mother. We felt such a mix of emotions that day. We were thrilled to be parents. We were overwhelmed at another woman's grief, and in awe of her love and willingness to do what she felt was in the best interest of this little soul that was just placed in our arms. We left with an increased desire to make Amanda part of our family, if only through sharing our lives through letters and pictures. We felt that someday Madison and Amanda would meet again. Amanda left thinking she would maybe never hear from us again. She had entrusted us with everything yet had no expectations from us in return.

Over the years, we communicated with Amanda through letters. When Madison was 3, we sent her our email address and access to a website where she could view pictures online. When Madison was 5, we visited Amanda in Illinois. We met Madison's birth father and his family as well. When Madison was 7, we met Amanda's father and mother, brother and extended family. They have all made our family part of theirs and we have made them part of ours. There have been other visits and we have enjoyed everyone of them.

Amanda is an amazing person and is such a great advocate for adoption. We love you Amanda and just can't imagine our life without you a part of it.

The twins' birth mother wanted a closed adoption. Since I don't have her permission to blog about her, I will just call her "N". In September 2004, our case worker with LDS Family Services called us and told us about twin girls due in December. Their birth mother was working with a different adoption agency in Utah and this adoption agency didn't have many adoptive families to show the birth mother. She asked if we would be interested. We had had many calls like this before, but things never worked out. We had been waiting to adopt for over 3 years. This time, it just felt right. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I just had this feeling....

I met with the case workers at Children's Service Society of Utah and filled out some paperwork and gave them a letter for "N" and some pictures of our family. I felt really good when I left and again felt like these babies were meant to come to our family. They told us that "N" was due at Christmas, but would likely deliver early because they were twins. They thought she would deliver by Thanksgiving.

We waited anxiously to hear something about the twins. But we didn't get a call. In November, I finally called CSS of Utah to see if "N" had picked a different family. They told me she still had not chosen, but they would let me know one way or the other when she had. On November 16th, I got a call around noon from a case worker saying that "N" was in labor and would be delivering today. She asked if we would like to come up to the hospital and finish our paper work. We were so excited that "N" had picked our family.

We quickly did some shopping. We bought a necklace to give "N" with the girls' birthstone. We made arrangements for someone to watch Madison and headed up to the hospital. We finished filling out mountains of paper work and finally decided we better eat something. While we were in the cafeteria, we got a call saying they were born at 8:00 PM. We hurried to the nursery, but they weren't in there yet. We waited and watched as they brought in two beautiful babies. We watched through the window for a few moments while the case worker and the hospital staff worked out an agreement to allow us to be in the nursery with them. We went inside and helped weigh them and bathe them. They were so beautiful.

It was about 11:00 PM and we hadn't left yet. The case workers had gone for the night. "N" had indicated that she did not want to meet us. Then a nurse came into the nursery with a young woman in a wheelchair. It was "N". We wondered what we should do. We introduced ourselves and told her how grateful we were to her for choosing our family to adopt these beautiful children. We thanked her for giving them the gift of life. We told her how much each of them weighed and how we could already tell them apart. She told us she was glad we were their mom and dad now and that she would not interfere in their lives. We told her she needed to have time alone with them and we would leave. She told us not to go too far, she didn't want them to be alone after she left, but she would like some time.
















The next day, "N" asked the case worker if we could come to her room and have a visit. We were thrilled and cherish the time we spent getting to know her. We asked her if she had any names in mind for the girls. She didn't, but she loved the names we picked, Sierra and Savannah. "N" was a beautiful, strong woman who wanted her children to be in a home where they would have 2 parents and would be loved and well-cared for. We assured her we would do this. We gave her all the pictures we had taken the night before and told her we would write if she wanted us to. We have never heard from "N" since then, but we respect her wishes and hope and pray that she is happy and doing well.






















Ruth is Lilly's birth mother. When Lilly was 4 months old, her father died suddenly. Ruth was very young and life if very difficult in Ghana. Ruth cared for Lilly for several years and provided for her the best she could. When Lilly was about 4 or 5, Ruth took her to Luckyhill Children's Home where Lilly would receive regular meals and an education. Ruth visited Lilly nearly every day and when she could spare a bit of money would buy yogurt for her. Ruth's mother works at Luckyhill helping care for the younger children. Lilly's grandmother took good care of her. Ruth is currently working at Luckyhill cooking meals for the children. We are so glad we were able to meet the people who loved and cared for Lilly for so many years. They are very good and generous people. We are able to call Ruth every once in a while and send letters and pictures to her with other families traveling to Ghana. We love them and know that the reason Lilly has adjusted to her new home and family so well is because she was loved before. She doesn't have bonding issues because she was loved and cared for before she came here.
















Love Makes a Family.
It's our family motto. It's the love of these birth mothers that built our family and the love we share with one another that makes our family complete.

Gratitude

I wrote this post Oct. 10th, but wanted to wait until November to publish it because it is National Adoption Month.

We would like to express our gratitude to Lois Martino who helped us with our adoption of Lilly. She was recently nominated and won the 2009 Hall of Fame Award for Families Supporting Adoption (FSA). She was so deserving and gave a very humble speech upon accepting the award. She said that she is the lucky one because she knows she is doing what the Lord wants her to do. She is truly amazing.

Adoption touched her life when she adopted her daughter, Lily from Ghana 10 years ago. She has given back 100 fold. She has helped so many children find their families. She has dedicated much of her life, without pay, to help guide families through the adoption process in Ghana. As a result of these adoptions, all of the children at Luckyhill are benefiting with better nutrition, a nearly completed school, dorms, beds, medical care, etc.....things we simply take for granted.

THANK YOU LOIS for bringing "our Lilly" home. We are forever grateful and in your debt.

We would also like to thank Kingsley and Gloria Eshun. They are incredible people who are such great examples of sharing and serving others. They opened a school called King's International school as a business to provide for their family. Many of the children who began attending the school were orphans. So the Eshuns started taking these children into their own home and founded the Luckyhill Children's Home. They house around 20 orphans and have found foster homes for about 60 more within the community.

Kingsley works non-stop helping families facilitate adoptions, running the school, serving in the bishopric, helping anyone who stops by from the community, and I could go on and on and on. Gloria cooks 3 meals a day, including breakfast and lunch for 300 students at the school. She does the laundry, watches the children, does the food shopping, and has dedicated her life to this work as well.

We are so thankful for the kind of care Lilly received while she lived in the Eshun home. She was loved and provided for and this has made her transition into our family much easier for all of us.

THANK YOU KINGSLEY AND GLORIA for everything you do. I know the Lord smiles on your work and will bless you abundantly!!!

Several Months....Catching Up

I've been so lame about blogging lately that I thought I'd just catch you up by photos of the last several months. I hope you enjoy!

Summer camping trip.





















BONDING!!! (A.K.A. getting into face paints w/o permission.)
















Madi made the competition soccer team!



















New hairdos for the three youngest. First time I have taken them to a salon.





We had Lilly sealed to us in the Salt Lake temple in August. She is now officially part of our "forever family"! It was a rainy, windy, wet day...so not many pictures.

Madi's birthmom and grandparents came for a visit. It was so fun showing them around!

First day of school! (They chose to wear matching outfits. They did this for about the first week of school. I guess it got old after that.)

Sierra and Savannah joined a soccer team. Lilly has chosen swim lessons beginning in November.