Sunday, November 22, 2009

Be Where You Are

A friend taught me what this simple phrase means. It means:

When you are in the car with your children, be with your children not with your to do list rattling in your head.

When you are at church, focus on the message being taught.

When you are on date night with hubby, listen to him and enjoy your time together rather than thinking about the bills that still need paid.

I have thought of this simple phrase many times in my life. Sometimes it is a motto that is easy to live by, other times I am easily distracted from what really matters.

In my days before becoming of a mother, I longed for the day that the pitter-patter of little feet would fill my home. But I really tried to focus on the message, "Be where you are." I enjoyed the years that Steve and I had as a couple to enjoy each other and to really work on our relationship. We had a lot of fun. We made sure to plan something we both enjoyed often to distract us from the woes of infertility and childlessness.

Being a mother is wonderful, but it is also difficult. Some days I wonder if I am totally insane to have all these children and sometimes secretly, I wish for more. Some days I look at the mirror I just cleaned that is now smeared with toothpaste and fingerprints and wonder why I work so hard. Sometimes I fantasize about what life would be like if we didn't have any children. In my fantasies, I'm sure we would be rich (living on two incomes, my dream job, my dream house, etc.). I dream of the places in the world where we would vacation. I think of how much less laundry there would be and how the house would always be clean.

But then, I think about how empty the house would be. How unfulfilled my life would be. I would miss out on:

The joy of helping a child with homework and seeing that they get it now.

Arms wrapped tightly around my neck with a sweet little voice saying, "I love you mom."

Hearing my child own up to something they did wrong without being reminded to say "I'm sorry."

Butterfly kisses on my cheek followed by plenty of giggling.

Cuddling a sick child that just needs mommy and a warm blanket.

Reading bedtime stories, even though it is way past bedtime and this is the 5th story we've read.

What good is a clean house if there are no children to fill it? Today, I am grateful to be where I a bit of a messy house, but with 4 beautiful girls and a wonderful, very patient man by my side.


FullPlateMom said...

That's beautiful, Narda. I need to remind myself of this more often. For me, it's more that business can wait. I need to get off my cell, shut off the TV and chat with my kids.

disabilitydiva said...

Thanks for posting that reminder to be "present" You are a great mom!!

miriamlee2003 said...

Amen!!! To all of it. Only I just have two little ones at this point. "Be where you are" !!!! I've never heard that saying in that way---but I LOVE it and am putting it on my fridge right NOW!!! Thanks!! Merry Christmas, Narda!!

Shannan said...

You mean when my kids are running around the house screaming and I am sitting on the couch reading I am not "in the moment???" :) It's called checking out of life and being in denial baby! Love it!
I am a yoga teacher and teach the concept of being present all the time. It is such a better way to live our lives but it is exhausting.

Found your blog through full plate mom. Cute kids! Love the girls' hair.

Shelley Hansen is my sister in law and I have three adopted kids.